Pinks and Pastels...

vivid, colorful, vibrant, fresh, soft, relaxing, beautiful... welcome to my MIND!!!! (believe me people, it's the kid in me.. hehe)

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

The 24-Hour Boyfriend

note: fabrication lang toh.. similarities to real people and real events are merely coincidental.. trip ko lang talaga..

We were couple No.10 in school. He was no.1 because he's lean. I was no.0 because I was round. People would laugh at us when they saw us together but I did not care, he was a trophy boyfriend after all. He was adored by almost everyone in school. He even represented the school in various beauty and modelling competitions (for guys). That's why even if we were already together, I was still overwhelmed at the thought that he picked me.


Our courtship was rather short. We have been friends for almost a year but only a week before I said yes to him did we really start getting intimate or rather romantic. I liked him ever since the first time I laid my eyes on him. He was gorgeous and his every move would fascinate me. I would think about him even in places hostile to romances. I was happy just being around him. But I didn't think he would look at me the way I see him. It just wasn't possible. I knew him too well. He was a playboy, the type of guy who knew girls would practically throw themselves at his feet. And I did, only after a week of convincing me to be his girlfriend. He didn't even tell me he loved me. He just asked me if I wanted him to be my boyfriend and I said yes just like that.

The day after we became a couple, the environment in school seemed to change. People were whispering and snickering behind my back. It was as if I was a walking joke, as if I was bringing something funny with me.

During recess I was delighted to finally see him, the only friendly face I know. But then there was something weird about him. He looked rather sad, nervous, or agitated, im not really sure. However, I could see that he was bothered. Boy those eyes could not lie. And then he told me that he made a very big mistake that week. He said that he and his former girlfriend had patch things up already and that he only courted me because he was lonely. He was still explaining, trying to make me feel better, but I could no longer take it. My mind refused to understand all the explanations he tried to offer. All I could make out was that he was very sorry for what he did. After exactly 24 hours, it was over between us.

I wanted to believe him. I guess after a week I did. But I wasn't aware that the worse part was still ahead. His current girlfriend approached me and told me never to believe anything he would say. Apparently, they broke up again. Everything was a game. He was playing the collect and select game. And the two of us were victims. He just wanted to add more girls in his already long list of girlfriends and it crushed me to find out that I had been once a part of the list.

I never spoke to him since. And because of what happened, I found it hard to trust other people again.

Right now, I do have a boyfriend. He's the perfect guy, everything that I could ever want and need. However, the past still bothers me because deep down I knew I wanted revenge. It was hard to forget what the 24-hour boyfriend did to me. Even though I know I love my current boyfriend now more than ever, a part of me still wanted to break 24-hour boyfriend's jaw for hurting me, for using me.

But I now know that it's useless. And eventually I learned to forgive him, forgive him for everything that he did. I couldn’t blame him. Maybe he has his own reasons. Maybe he too was hurt once and it was just his way of bouncing back. I would never know. I just hope that someday he would realize his mistakes and learn to forgive himself from committing those mistakes. And I too hope that someday also he would find the love that he deserves.

I realized that he will always be a part of my past whether I break his jaw or not. And that trying to erase him from my memory would only hurt me more. He was and would always be one of the factors that made me who I am today.

And because of that, I will always be thankful for the pain, for the experience.


Regrets are useless...