kikayness and other issues

i have been "criticized" sooo many times online and offline (mostly offline..) for putting up such a "kikay" and "pa-cute" blog.. ewan ko pero stereotype na siguro to some na bright and loud colors are empty and dumb and that dark and gloomy are intellectual.. those who think it's pretty, well thank you very much i am deeply touched and to those who think its empty and and just a bunch of nonsense blabber, this one's for you...

let me start by saying that in the past three years that i've been away from home, siguro it's natural for me to "evolve" and to get to like things that i even prefer not to look at before.. the people who knew me in HS would say and are already saying that i have "changed"... some even told me that i don't speak our language anymore and that i have forgotten where i came from and what i was before... i try not to answer back and leave them to their thoughts but one does have her saturation point and mine has come.. i admit i have gone through a lot of modifications but i have not changed.. i am still the same person who is very fluent in speaking our dialect and who is in fact studying language just so i'd know how to approach the possible extinction of the Surigaonon language because i do recognize how important it is in our growth as a city and with that, as a nation.. i applaud our city Mayor for using our native dialect Surigaonon in delivering his State of the City Address and i recognize his and my father's effort in trying to bring business in the city.. anyway, even if i speak japanese to some of you at times that doesnt mean i have become alien to my own culture.. i am trying to learn the language so please please pardon me.. and oh, about the going back to my roots thing think again! patricia evangelista once said that it's not really a matter of where you are, it is all about choosing to go back.. like the hobbits, i have a destiny to fulfill and i do promise to go back once i have fulfilled that... hindi po ako nagpapakabayani.. this is a personal choice that i have made a long long time ago even before i got into UP, that no matter where life would take me, i will go back to Surigao..

with that said here the reasons why i think i did evolve.. one is that i suddenly find "colorful things" interesting.. but mind you, not all pinky-colorful girls are dumb.. they are just women who see life through a prism and who recognize that life is in fact a rainbow.. that doesnt mean "we" mask all the negative and shut it out.. in fact, we recognize it, seeing that a rainbow will never exist without rain.. i have nothing against being "goth or dark or gloomy.. in fact, i am also a fan of all those things.. hello? you should listen to my music and hear or read my stuff "before" and you'll see a balance between the two contrasting things... second, i have been denied (hehe) or rather i excluded myself from all the wonders of being a girl, fashion, design, womanly trippings, all of those things.. siguro naman it's time that i have a taste of those and dream of being a Paris Hilton someday... third, aint pink lovely? look at how dainty and how loving it is... diba diba???

just because i love two things doesnt mean i dont have a stand.. in fact i do.. i stand on neutral grounds and i have accepted long ago that our world is not a great big melting pot but a salad bowl mized and blended to perfection. trying to force homogeneity is the root of terrorism and we all dont want that..

and lastly, just because i evolved doesn mean i totally changed.. i just choose to express myself this way.. anyway, if you still aren't convinced enough then i am not gonna waste my time trying to explain myself.. but i appreciate that you took time to visit and see how i've been.. ako pa rin po si jais at gaya ng sabi ni kuya jam kasing kikay ko ang blog ko.. maraming salamat po sa appreciation.. because of that, i finally gathered the courage to speak up about this.. hehe..