Reasons

mejo malungkot ngayon. something happened that i am too ashamed to talk about here. di ko pa kasi tanggap this time so maybe someday when i'd have the courage to talk about it, i will..

pero right now, that certain event made my self-esteem plummet soo low that i don't know if i still would be able to get it back to it's original level. it isn't exactly proper for me to fuss about it pero i think the main cause that we did not succeed was because i took it all to myself and kinda forgot that it was supposed to be a team effort and that the ultimate goal was to have fun and not to win..

sometimes i dont get God.. you pray hard and he refuses to liste. sometimes also, he surprises you with things you thought you did not need.. and sometimes, he frightens you with events you'd think you wont find your way out of but then He's there guiding you.. i have to admit, i really dont understand why i still have to go through al this pain, all this suffering and even all those happiness and pleasure.. i really dont but i do know he has a reason.. in due time i'd understand and when i do, he would give me a new set of things to explore and try to comprehend..

right now, the only choice i have is to wait.. He is after all the greatest in this world and i know that despite that, He is merciful and He loves me..